Comparing Yourself To Others Can Make You Become Vain & Bitter

We sometimes compare our life, journey, achievements or our situations to others. Constantly looking at someone else’s accomplishments and compare it with yourself. Beating yourself up over how far behind you are in life. Wondering how your friend can afford a brand new vehicle and you not. Feeling like a looser, because everyone else is doing such amazing things with their lives and you have not achieve one of your goals. You get the picture? 

I've found myself in the same situation recently. Took on a new business venture a couple of weeks back and I’m investing a fair amount of time, energy and effort into it. I got frustrated when I saw that others are moving up in the business and show progress while nothings happening for me. I was comparing my new sign-up numbers to theirs and felt that I’m not measuring up. What are they doing right that I’m doing wrong? I felt devastated, depressed and negative not only towards my business, but also towards life. I was overwhelmed with sadness and despair because I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel despite all the effort and work I put in. I totally lost focus and felt a drop in my self-confidence. 

Max Ehrmann an American writer, poet, and attorney from Terre Haute, Indiana once said “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser person than yourself” and this was exactly how i felt at the time, vain and bitter. I was not in the mood to work or anything else for that matter. Received a call from my friend and he invited me for coffee. Darryl is a very good friend, brother and confidant and i could not wait to meet up with him just to blow of some steam! We sat down and i laid out my frustrations and feelings to him. Luckily we both share the same goals, vision, believes and he could relate to my frustration. He’s advice to me was not compare myself to others and to focus on my own journey, because I don’t share the same goals, ambitions and dreams as others. He said that I have a lot to offer and a lot to be happy about. The best thing to do was to let go and move on. 

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” 

Alexander Graham Bell 

Here are a few things you can do... 

Focus on yourself because you will loose time that could have been invested in you. Instead of wasting time comparing your path with someone else’s, spend it on investing, creating and caring for yourself. Always except where you are, because you cannot change something you don’t acknowledge. Rather than fighting and reasoning about where you are, come to peace with it. You must love your past because it might have been filled with mistakes, fears and failures, but these will make you become better, wiser and a more confident version of yourself. Learn from your past and be proud of what you’ve done, for wanting to create a better life for yourself and your loved ones. 

In conclusion the lesson I've learned and want to share is comparing yourself to others make you feel miserable, frustrated and you wont be able to move forward. If you ever get to this point, go out there and take back what belongs to you. Focus all your energy in believing in yourself, up your skills and your happiness. Stay cool and remember to focus only on yourself.

Regards,

Colin Jooste
Entrepreneur (Lifestyle Associate)